Dear Blog,
I have commitment issues. A few years ago, I went out on a date with Jason. He was an environmental lawyer. He spoke French, owned a house, was environmentally-conscious, played hockey, and seemed normal. Overall, I'd say he had all the makings of a boyfriend. On our first date I became sick. Like death sick. Miserable sick. 105 degree fever sick. I remember I still had my shoes on whilst lying underneath my bedcovers. (Funny, the things you remember.) But yes, I was that miserable.
But let me go on a tangent here for a sec. When I'm sick, I am grumpy. I am like PMS on drugs. I'm like a pregnant woman on her 10th month. I'm easily annoyed and I cry at the drop of a hat. (end tangent)
But it was "that person" that called Jason and gave him the bad news. I said I was sick and I couldn't make it to our date. Of course, being the modern man that he is, doubted me immediately. Pretty much, he thought I was blowing him off. He sounded a little pissed because he was cooking me dinner at his house that night. I think he was making soup. Ok, it was French soup. I don't remember. But anyhoo, I told him "too bad, so sad" and we can do it next time. But the doubter that he was, I told him that he should come over and feel my forehead to gauge the truth of my health condition. I was deathly ill, dammit! So, he drove 45 minutes to my apartment with a grocery bag of orange juice, crackers, and some sort of deli sandwich from Safeway. The misery that answered the door was me without any makeup and who also looked like she's been sleeping in her clothes for a week. (It was linen and those get wrinkly quickly!) Jason quickly took me to bed, tucked me underneath my covers, and proceeded to cool my fever with some wet facecloths. It was sweet really. I think he was seconds away from calling an ambulance. He was that worried.
Jason stayed with me all night even though he had to go to work in the morning. My fever broke later that evening and he left me sans a deli sandwich from Safeway. I guess the sandwich was for him not for me. He called me the next day and asked me to go on a picnic with him the next Saturday. I said, sure. We talked and texted all week on the phone. But on Saturday, I never returned his phone calls. He called me a few times when I didn't show up. But I didn't listen to the message. I deleted it.
To this day, I don't understand the ballz that made me do that. I don't know why I couldn't go through with it. My friend Jenny told me that I had issues. She's probably right. He saw me at my weakest point. He saw me without makeup! He saw me grumpy. It was not an ideal "first date." It was probably a little bit of my insecurity that couldn't understand why he would still want to see me after my Near-To-Death experience with a fever. It was probably my commitment issues.
So knowing that, I created a blogging website today. I absolutely have no idea whether I will write another post after this. I'm getting that strangling feeling that I'm committing myself to this blog. But whatev. No one will probably ever read this blog.
Why is it called Fresh! It took a while to come up with a title for the blog. But when I was at work today, I had a lot of annoying phone calls that I had to deal with. I remember thinking, "what fresh shit am I going to have to deal with today?" Aaaand..lightbulb! Fresh! it is. So that's that.
Until tomorrow. Maybe.
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